Ciaran McAuley - Finding Me

Ironically perhaps, ‘Finding Me’ owes its existence to a period of profound creative doubt on Ciaran McAuley’s behalf. After years of forward momentum, the Irish artist found himself questioning not only his own direction, but his relationship with music itself. At that crossroads, rather than forcing (what now only had the appearance of) progress, he chose to pause and fully acknowledge the rift. Then he turned into its headwind and harnessed that turbulence as the start-point for his recalibration.

And that became the core of ‘Finding Me’.

That type of reset often requires a little help from your friends and Ciaran found a wealth of that through a truly standout cast of collaborators. Amongst that cadre are studio mainstays like Paul van Dyk, Roger Shah, Ferry Tayle, and Sean Tyas, and singer-songwriters like Audrey Gallagher, Christian Burns, Sue McLaren, Zara Taylor, Sarah Howells, Clara Yates, Deirdre McLaughlin and Shelby Merry.

The follow up to 2022’s ‘Permission To Exhale’ is here, and it’s about as honest as honest gets.

Amongst the album’s track titles, ‘Finding Me’s primary through-line isn’t hard to spot. Numbers like ‘Alone’ (with Chloe) and ‘Runaway’ (featuring Sean Tyas & Clara Yates) reflect on the period where McAuley confronted his growing disconnect head-on, even going so far as to abandon substantial tranches of already-recorded material. That moment of reset is echoed in ‘Why Do We Hide’ (sung by Deirdre McLaughlin), which questions the human urge to conceal self-doubt. ‘The Road Less Travelled’ (on which he partners with Ferry Tayle) makes a quiet statement about authenticity over alignment. This thread resolves naturally on the album’s title track (one of his two ‘Finding Me’ collaborations) with singer-songwriter Zara Taylor.

“Finding Me’s ‘false start’, says Ciaran “came at a time when I felt lost in many areas of my life, foremost amongst them music and my relationships”. As they say, “to be found, one must first be lost”, and I certainly related more to the latter around that time.

I was at a fork in the road, and I knew I needed to look inward for the answers. So, I set out to ‘find me’, exercising, getting outdoors more and surrounding myself only with the ones who lift me. That, over time, allowed me to re-discover my ‘good old self’; the sounds I love, and the arrangements that’ll forever pull at my heartstrings.”

That inner reset also opened up a space for Ciaran and his singer-songwriters to address some of their more personal fractures. Rather than arriving with fixed concepts out of the gate, McAuley and his vocalists went back and forth sharing their own experiences and allowing those exchanges to inform the lyrics that followed. As the album progresses, it gives rise to affirmation songs like ‘Finding You’ (with Amos & Riot Night), ‘You’re Enough’ (sung by Christian Burns) and ‘Not Letting You Go’ (further combining the talents of Roger Shah & Sue McLaren). 

Among ‘Finding Me’s many highlights is Ciaran’s reteaming (after ‘Someone Like You’) with Paul van Dyk. Through the sleek instrumental meeting point of ‘When I Found You’, McAuley’s melodic sensibilities and van Dyk’s signature propulsive architecture brilliantly reestablishes that creative rapport.

The album’s final quarter brings Ciaran’s journey to a resolution point of sorts. ‘Stay’, ‘Fool’s Gold’, ‘Hurricane’, and ‘The Party’ move away from more overt forms of introspection and lean into more opaque lyrics. This allows their meaning to emerge through tone, phrasing, and musical interplay rather than direct statement. Collectively, they close ‘Finding Me’ in a resolutely assured fashion, leaving room for listener and clubber alike to interpret what lies behind the words.

‘Finding Me’ stands as Ciaran McAuley’s most self-defined album to date - a record shaped by trust and the confidence to begin again. It’s available to pre-save/order here: https://blackhole.lnk.to/FindingMe